If you’re here, I’m guessing you found out that your spouse is having an affair. What exactly is the best way to go about dealing with a cheating spouse? Should you get mad? Should you divorce them? Should you pretend it never happened? Should you use it guilt them into doing things for you?
It’s not easy when you discover an affair, and there are probably a lot of emotions running through you right now. One minute you might feel betrayed, the next you feel furious, only to come crashing down in tears afterward.
Dealing with a Cheating Spouse:
Uncork Bottled Emotions
Well, the first thing you have to keep in mind when dealing with an unfaithful spouse is that it is going to be an emotional roller coaster ride. Don’t try to bottle up your feelings or push them to the side. This will only cause further resentment and more emotional problems down the road.
Of course you may need to keep them under control to get through the day at work, but other than that, don’t feel like your emotions are something you need to control. Let them out and express the feelings of pain and anguish you are feeling. This is the first crucial step toward dealing with a cheating spouse and starting the recovery process.
If you and your spouse decide to stay together after the affair, the second thing you need to do to make sure that both of you begin to practice transparency in everything you do. Transparency is the only way to rebuild the shattered trust in your relationship and to help restore your marriage.
It is important to know that BOTH you and your spouse need to practice transparency. This is key in dealing with a cheating spouse. Many times the victim of the affair believes that only the cheater needs to be open about everything, however, this comes across as a humiliating punishment rather than a way to heal the relationship.
Understand What Didn’t Work
The main reason why you must employ transparency when dealing with a cheating spouse is because all affairs begin when one person isn’t getting their needs met by the relationship. Instead of dealing with these problems, they start to stray from the relationship.
Transparency helps to identify these problems and unmet needs and helps the two of you to rebuild your marriage stronger than before. Dealing with an unfaithful spouse is much easier if you know exactly what they need to make sure they don’t cheat again.
Dealing with a cheating spouse and learning how to survive an affair is never easy and it isn’t something I would wish upon anyone. You can recover from the affair, but understand that it will take cooperation and patience from both you and your partner. Healing and trust are things that can only be rebuilt with dedication and commitment to your marriage and working things out together.
If you’re having trouble dealing with an unfaithful spouse, I suggest you check out the Marriage Sherpa program to get the help of an industry-leading professional with 30 years of experience in counseling to help you restore the love, trust, and passion to your marriage.
|Who Else Wants to Discover How to Recover from an Affair and Make Things Better Than Ever?
Dr. Gunzburg, author of How to Survive an Affair, has over 30 years of professional experience working with couples and counseling marriages.
His program will show you how to tame the haunting images, get your emotions under control, reconnect with your partner, and rebuild the trust in your relationship. I strongly suggest you check out Marriage Sherpa today.