A trial marriage separation is one of the last course of action you take before you and your spouse divorce. Divorce is crazy expensive, even after you’ve both officially split. Check out what CNBC.com has to say about how much a divorce truly cost.
If you and your spouse has already done every thing you can to try to fix your marriage and nothing seems to be getting better, then a trial marriage separation might just be be the best for both of you.
A trial marriage separation is not contract set in stone for pre-divorce.
In fact, it could very well save your marriage. Here are some things to keep in mind before you and your spouse go through with the trial separation.
Before you and your spouse separate, it’s crucial for you guys to sit and talk about what is expected from this trial separation. It may also be a good idea to write down your ‘terms of agreement’ just so there isn’t any misunderstanding in the future.
Length of a Trial Marriage Separation:
Most couples can be separated for 6 months to 1 year during a trial marriage separation. As long as both partners are working to make the marriage work. This mean setting time up to see each other every couple weeks. This is a good way to figure out if divorce is something you guys want to go through with or not.
Custody Over the Children In a Trial Marriage Separation:
A marriage separation is not going to be easy, especially if you have kids. This is why it’s important to sit down and talk to your kids about what is happening if they are older. Don’t forget you guys are not just separating a marriage but a family as well. I know it hurts and things may seem hopeless but you have to do what’s best for your family in the long run and if it’s a trial marriage separation, then so be it.
Have your children talk about their feelings and ask any questions if they have any. Don’t let them decide on who to live with at this point. If you and your spouse can work something out, say one week the Dad has the kids and during the week Mom has them or vice versus. Whatever works best for you and your spouse’s schedule. A child custody battle is extremely heart wrenching for a child to go through.
Finances In a Trial Marriage Separation:
Since you guys are not divorced yet, you both are still responsible to making sure all the bills get paid. This won’t be easy, but you guys still have to deal with the finances as a couple.
Dating In a Trial Marriage Separation:
I wouldn’t suggest dating to be an option if you and your spouse are trying to make your marriage work. The most important thing is to have a clear understanding between both of you guys when it comes to a trial marriage separation. Also, keep in mind just because you both are on a trial separation, don’t think it’s okay to date or not to date, it’s totally up to the couple. With most couples. dating at this time will cause hurt feelings which may eventually lead to a divorce.
What is Suppose to Happen During a Trial Marriage Separation?
A trial marriage separation is not a sign your marriage is over, it’s recognizing that your marriage is in trouble and may not work.
A marriage separation gives couples a chance to re-evaluate their relationship and can be the determining factor that both you guys realized that you want and need each other in your lives.
Many times it just takes the action of leaving the marriage home that may help the other person recognize their marriage needs saving.
When you and your spouse decide to separate on a trial basis, it’s important that you both take time. Don’t move back in too soon, and make sure you and your spouse stay in contact with each other on the phone every few days and plan to meet for lunch or coffee once every couple weeks.
The point of a trial marriage separation is that both couples get a chance to breathe and think while they make an effort to make their marriage work. Is your marriage at the point of divorce? If so, you need to take action now to save your relationship.