A lot of women that have been recently cheated on have questions on their mind. If that’s you, your mind is probably flooded with questions like: why did this happen? how could he do this? Here are the most common questions I’ve received from women wanting to know what to do after they’ve discovered an affair.
Q: I don’t understand why my husband cheated on me. Can you help clear things up?
A: There are a lot of different things that can cause an affair. There is a popular belief in society that men are sex-crazed animals and will cheat on you the first chance they get. However, this generally isn’t the case.
Why most husbands cheat is because he has some kind of need that isn’t getting met properly in his relationship with you. It is easy to avoid dealing with your relationship problems and unfortunately that is what your husband did in this scenario.
Q: My husband cheated on me. Did I do something to cause it?
A: Probably not. Again, in the vast majority of cheating and infidelity cases, most men will cheat because they have some unmet need in the relationship. Men are not great at communicating their feelings, so chances are good that, unless you knowingly ignored some need that he has vocally expressed to you, you didn’t cause the infidelity.
Affairs, are primarily a symptom of a communication problem in a marriage. More often than not, your husband simply wasn’t communicating his needs effectively to you.
Q: Is it possible to trust again after my husband cheated on me?
A: Yes. Trusting after an affair will not be easy, however. It will require work and cooperation from both of you. You both need to understand that the affair happened because the two of you were not communicating properly. Thus, the way to rebuild the trust is to start communicating better and to practice transparency in everything that both of you do in the relationship.
Trust will come slowly and it will start with small things. Over time, as you continue to practice transparency in your relationship, the trust will come and it will gradually grow larger.
Q: Does it make me naive if I still love my him or I want to save the marriage after my husband cheated on me?
A: No. Of course there are circumstances where you will probably be better off leaving your husband but, just because your husband cheated, doesn’t mean that you absolutely need to end the marriage. As I’ve stated before, infidelity is a symptom of a communication problem in your marriage. Instead of heading out the door, this can be an opportunity to strengthen your marriage and learn to forgive and communicate better with your husband.
If you’re looking for a great program that will help you save your marriage after an affair, I highly recommend Dr. Gunzburg’s Marriage Sherpa program. It will help you understand why husbands cheat and help both you and your husband survive the affair and make things better than before. Or check out the page on how to survive an affair.
|Who Else Wants to Discover How to Recover from an Affair and Make Things Better Than Ever?
Dr. Gunzburg, author of How to Survive an Affair, has over 30 years of professional experience working with couples and counseling marriages.
His program will show you how to tame the haunting images, get your emotions under control, reconnect with your partner, and rebuild the trust in your relationship. I strongly suggest you check out Marriage Sherpa today.